Sick Baby? Sicker Mama

Baby is sick with something. Maybe a cold? Maybe allergies? His nose sounds clogged and he had some snot come out this morning. No runny nose yet.
And I am sick because I really wanna just put him down and let him cry it out. I have as bad a memory as baby does. Despite the fact that he slept from 11:30pm last night to 3:30am this morning I feel like I can't take it anymore. I just want him to go to take a nap. I want him to stay asleep when I put him down. I am sick of his waking up every time I lay him down.
He woke up at 5:15am this morning. I fed him at 6:45am, it is 8:15am he is not willing to nap. If I pick him up he is cranky and sleepy so I rock him till he is drowsy and nods his head. He is swaddled and in his crib and whimpering. I know that his being sick isn't making him feel any better but I really want him to not sleep in my arms.
I went out yesterday to lactation support group so it's not like I don't get out of the house. I am just a cold bitch really. I can't wait till I can let him cry it out.
Well I am holding him in my arms now. Time for my morning cupcake. Way to self-medicate!!!

Calling all MOPS

And by MOPS I mean Mothers of Pee Shooters. The last two nights I have gone through more wardrobe changes that pop star trying to hide their lack of talent. Last night I got peed on 4 times in 2 diaper changes (Babii will pee I'll cover him up after he gets a good spray out I'll uncover him to put on the new diaper and he used this opportunity to get another spray out). It's not like his diaper is dry, I use a cloth diaper prefold and an extra hemp insert at night and they are usually both sopping... And he still has more to donate to my pajamas.
I have discovered that hovering with the diaper is better that touching him because touching makes him stop peeing and it is better to let him get everything out. Has any one used a peepee teepee or weeblocker successfully? We shall see if I can be a little more awake for diaper changes tonight.
As for breastfeeding Babii and I are doing much better. Still feel sore after a day of nursing and the bottle of expressed breast milk is a good break for me. He is more awake for feedings and opens his mouth nice and big when he wants to eat.
Now his problem is he has to process everything that he eats. He suffers quite a bit from gas. Poor little guy wiggles and cries and stretches out and kicks his legs. We scrunch him up and pump his legs to help him get the gas out but he still spends most of his time grunting (even while he is sleeping). he spends so much time grunting that I have nicknamed him Gruntasaurus. Well Gruntasaurus is eating like a monster, he now weighs 10lbs 10oz and is just short of 22 inches so, maybe all that grunting is him willing his little body to grow so he can stuff more milk into his tiny tummy.
I love how squidgy he looks while he is grunting but we are trying our best to reduce his gas. Any suggestions will be accepted.

My Babii the Boob Hunter

Dear Babii,

You do not need to growl at the boobs, they are very passive. They do not need to be intimidated into submission. Also you are not a dog or wolf you do not need to shake your head and break any necks while you nurse. The boobs will give you food while they are alive.

But you are so cute when you do it.

Lies all lies

They all lie, it's a big fat lie. They lie to you. Something is wrong with you, if you were in the middle of nowhere your babii would be dead. And that would be ok if it were just your genes you were cutting off but it's not you it's someone else now and hopefully they don't have your messed up genes.

How are you supposed to remember and get everything right? Line up the nose with the nipple, stomach of babii needs to be against body of mom, point your nipple up, move the babii's head to breast not your breast to babii, hold nipple in C or U hold, get an asymmetric latch (more below the nipple than above in the babii's mouth), lips flanged out, lift his head up and over the nipple and remember if there is any clicking unlatch and start again. And if you don't do everything as prescribed it's gonna hurt.

Let me tell you that babii's mouth never opens as wide as in the videos, especially when they are sleepy. Your nipples are probably not long and pointy like the women they find for the videos, rubbing your nipple on their lips to get them to open up only works when their fists are ahead of your nipple, same with stroking their cheeks (oh, and if their own hand is rubbing their cheeks they might also turn their heads for that), plus everything can look good on the outside (as my Lactation Consultant will attest) but the babii's tongue still won't do the right thing and rub your nipples raw or he will have a chewing action that you have to live with and tell yourself that as long as he is biting the areola raw and not the nipple it's ok because the areola is skin and skin is supposed to be tough.

And they tell you not to watch TV while you are breastfeeding so you can bond with your babii but you will want to watch TV or listen to the radio while you are feeding so you can distract yourself from the pain or the gnawing. I will listen to politicos and their stupid ideas on the economy to distract me from that sandpaper tongue. That way you can also forget that your little bundle of joy can put up such a fight while he is crying in hunger. It's hard to bond with someone who causes you pain so just watch the TV or you will grow frustrated with nursing and, God forbid, the babii.

But thank God that you don't have flat or inverted nipples or that your babii doesn't have a cleft palate because then you would really be in s#!@.

And I think that the women at the breastfeeding support group forget this period. They tell you keep at it it will get better with some help. I have a feeling that none of the things they tell you actually help, it just takes for the babii to be older before he is able to breastfeed correctly and your nipples to toughen up so you don't feel any pain. You just have to power through the first few weeks until he is coordinated enough to breastfeed correctly. And they don't tell you this because they think if they give us these tips and tricks we will think that it is helping and we will keep at it and at some point things will work out.

Dear God, please let my nipples toughen up soon. I will keep doing all the things I am supposed to do just please help me out here.

Denial...

I have two books in front of me. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, (suggested reading from my breastfeeding class) and Bloodhunt by Ian Rankin. Guess which one I am reading.

I am not still pregnant....

When I get a chance I will change that ticker on top, but Babii arrived on 27 July. He weighed 7 lbs 15 oz. He was 20 inches long. My mom was able to be here for the birth, Hubii didn't faint in the delivery room.

We have him at home now. He is eating, pooping and sleeping like a champ. My mom has been a great help. I hope that we can handle things without her, but we are enjoying the help for now

Please pray for us and breastfeeding. It has been a real struggle, painful and frustrating. The lactation consultant at the hospital won't be in till Thursday, I am planning on attending a breastfeeding support group this Wednesday, but I am scared that my boobs won't survive till then, they are pretty raw currently.

Thankfully, by the grace of God and the diligence of our pediatric nurse (she called around Kansas City to find an LC in the area and asked her to call me and advise me. Unfortunately this LC is in Overland Park which is ~45 mins away and too much of a drive for me currently), I have a plan of action till I get to see the LC at my hospital.

It involves only feeding every third feed and giving the baby pumped breast milk in the interim feeding sessions. The LC said that nipple confusion was less of an issue than scar tissue forming on my nipples.

Thank God for my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) who insisted I take her breast pump. I have one at hand and I can use it right away. I had ordered all the extra parts in advance so we are ready to put this plan into action.

Babii is now 5 days old. He is too handsome for words. I wonder if he will always be Babii on the blog...

Birth story is on the way.... exciting!

Homestretch

I had a prenatal checkup today. The doctor said that babii is in station +2 and this means that babii is really low, but I am still closed up so hopefully the baby will wait a little longer for my mom to get here. She is planning on arriving on the 21st and my due date is the 27th.

I should have asked how far I can drive from home because I was planning on going to school to see a friend who recently got married and was going to be in Lawrence, oh well, we will see.

Anyways, we finally finished the nursery. The walls are painted and the honey bees are on the wall. I really wanted the room to be painted so that it would have time to air out before babii arrived.

As you can see we also have the crib setup. Most of the diapers are prewashed and the other half is almost done (you have to prewash cotton diapers 3 times before they reach full absorbency).

Hubii has installed the car seat and had it inspected.

So, we are have the bare minimum ready for babii's arrival. We have other things ready, we have been to newborn care class and breastfeeding class. So hopefully we are also a little better than ignorant on how to care for babii. Maybe the next time I post we will have a picture of our new family.